river of dreams

Friday, April 28, 2006


This is one of the best jokes I have ever heard:

A guy came to see a venereologist and said: "Doc, help me please. But you have to promise not to laugh okay?"

"Relax. I promise I won't laugh. What is it?" the doctor asked.

With this assurance, the guy lower his pants. Surprisingly, his private part was very small. The diameter seemed to be no longer than a Steadler 2B pencil.

Seeing this very limited property, the doctor forgot about his promise. He laughed so hard until rolling on the floor.

After about 5 minutes, he finally managed to control his emotion. "Please forgive me... Hhh.. Hh.. I get carried away. I promise I won't laugh again. Now, what seems to be the problem?" asked the doctor again while trying to put a serious face on.

The guy then dared to continue, "My private part has been swollen like this for 3 days..."



I went to the salon the other day and got my hair "smoothed". So now it looks a lot better and easier to handle.

I've been planning to fix this hair of mine for a very very long time, but the courage came to me just recently. Well, also the money. Now that I've done it and it feels so satisfying, I kind a regret why I didn't do it earlier. The fact that I was afraid it'll make my hair look uglier than before now seems so stupid.

But now that I think of it, I was always like this. Sometimes I see changes as something that's bad and so hard to do. Changing myself or something in me, by the way. Changing means I have to start adapting all over again, walking out from my comfort zone, and making me feel insecure about myself. In short, it's hard for me to see it as something positive. That a new me could be a better me.

I just hope this "hard to change" attitude is not the one that's keeping me from letting him go...

Thursday, April 27, 2006


"Failure" never scares me.

When it happened, all I think about is: well, this must be the best thing for me. This is my path. God want this. There's something more beautiful for me beyond this, I just haven't figure it out yet.

And then I usually begged God to give me some clue and some patience for me to get over the pain.

This "ritual" started when I failed getting in Bogor Agricultural Institute, Indonesia, by a special program in my high school. I was kind a frustrated back then, because I was one of the high grade students and everyone was so sure that I will succeed. They even congratulating me after the announcement, didn't bother to listen carefully and find out that the school principal never mentioned my name. So you might say the saddest part of this story was when I have to tell them the bad news and to see them go: whaaat?! really? well, best of luck for you anyway.

I remember went home not long after that, can't handle the pain anymore.

Why me? Why this? Why now? Why? Why?

The answer came a few months later. I got accepted in a better college by national examination :D

So, don't worry. Remember what Alanis said: life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay and everything going right... and life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything going wrong and everything blows up in your face...

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


I read this news in www.cinematical.com and found out about these movies that reached the US box office. Posted in April 23, 2006, the charts was:

01. Silent Hill
02. Scary Movie 4
03. The Sentinel
04. Ice Age: The Meltdown
05. The Wild
06. The Benchwarmers
07. Take the Lead
08. American Dreamz
09. Inside Man
10. Friends with Money

I know about Take the Lead (starring the cute Antonio Banderas) and Scary Movie 4, but never heard of the others. Recently, I always bought old movies that supposed to be great, with a lot of oscars' nominations and all that, but I find myself not in the mood to watch any of them. Well, they're not that boring really, but, I found out later on, that Mary Poppins is just not the kind of movie that I'd like to spend my spare time with. The kind of movie that I really enjoy was something like The Grudge (even though it scares the hell out of me and I only dare watching it in the day or with my mom :P) and X-Men. You know, stuff with simple stories and no requirement for the viewers to think about what the mission it carries :P


My dad was a scorpio (is this right? or should it be scorpion? :P). I love him, don't get me wrong. But I don't like some of his attitude towards my mom. Maybe it's my mom, maybe it's him. I never wanna judge that. I think it's their issues, and I shouldn't interfere. If they can keep their marriage for more than 25 years with whatever going on between them, I think I'm not suppose to change anything now.

Back to scorpio. My boyfriend also a scorpio. Coincidence? Of course. But talk about horoscope and their relation with our characters, sometimes David reminds me of my dad. His insensitivity, his practical way of thinking, and a lot of other things that I can't really explain match my dad (aren't all men like that? you might say :P). So I think it's pretty natural when I asked him one day: are you going to treat me that way too when we get married?

He paused for a while. Then he looked at me and said: I don't know. I can't tell the future.

I started feeling disappointed by his remarks. But then he added: We just have to keep trying to make the relationship works. It all depend on ourselves.

FYI, he always like that. Instead of telling me what I wanna hear, he always make me think how stupid my questions are. And, by the way, I was always like that with him. Asking silly questions that I already knew the answers. Thank God he's so patience :P


Hmm, I think I kind a enjoy this. Writing in my blog, I mean. And look, I can even do this in english without have to look in a dictionary! ;))

By the way, I always love english. I don't know how, but this language seems so easy for me to learn. Because we didn't have much money, my parents couldn't afford to send me to english course like other children. So I have to learn it on my own. And thanks to elmo and big bird and other characters in the Sesame Street, I think the results is not so disappointing :P

What I find disappointing was, the fact that all cartoon movies in television right now are translated into Indonesian language. If this happened in my time, I think it would be hard for me to learn english by myself. It's just not right. And replacing good shows like Sesame Street, now we get to see rubbish like Spongebob :P I find it non educational at all. The children learn nothing but where to get the not-so-cute dolls and other stuff based on their characters. What a waste!

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Here and There

I'm not originally learning or even wanting to be a journalist. My background was chemistry in Bandung Institute of Technology, Indonesia. Yup, you heard right, chemistry. Some people always seems to be surprised by this. Me, a chemistry student, working as a writer in a magazine talking 'bout mobile phones. But in this part of the world, Indonesia specifically, with millions of unemployed people out there, I felt lucky I could end up here.

The truth is, this is my very first job, I got accepted just two months after I graduated and move back from Bandung to Jakarta, and I took it because they want me. I knew nothing about writing an article or interviewing people, but my Dad always taught me to learn about everything (never say "I can't do it", ask someone else how to do it or learn how to do it on your own; this is his favourite line) and dare to try something new. And when I first started this job, October 2004, it just hit me: I love it! I enjoy writing, editing, browsing, and the fact that I get to go here and there to pers conference or pers gathering. It's far from boring. And right now, I can't imagine myself doing anything else beside this.

Now let's talk about why I love reading so much. My Dad was the one to blame. Even though he didn't get the chance to finish his education, he always pushed me and my siblings to study well and read a lot. Because I'm the one who can't seem to sleep without a book in front of my face, Dad always bought me books every week. We're not rich, but he always had the money for this need of mine. So right now, I have many collection of books from Enid Blyton until Sidney Sheldon. And I think this hobby that grew in me starting sixth grade elementary school until now, making me using glasses since age 12, have to do with the ability that I think I had right now. The ability to write. This judgement is not just coming from me, by the way. A senior journalist, whom I respect very much, also said it :P

Me, Myself, and I

Wow. Finally. My own blog.

It shouldn't be that hard for me to express myself in a blog, because that's what I do for a living, a journalist who have to write all the time. But expressing your mind, at least for me, is just not that simple. I can't really explain why, but one of the reason was, besides I have decided to write this blog in english, I'm just not that kind of person that can easily share my deepest thoughts or my wildest dreams or my experiences to other people.

And another reason was, ehm by the way this is the most crucial one, probably got to do with the fact that I'm a journalist. Whaaat?! You might say. But yes, I really do think that being a writer who always have to sit in front of the computer all the time, trying to find the right subject to write about in the next edition, thinking hard about how the hell I'm gonna finish the article, read it over and over again until I think other people who is not gadget-freak would understand, then take a break for a while, and in a couple of days start the cycle over and over and over again... left me with no more energy to write anything else.

I call it the "side effects" of being a journalist. I don't know about you, other journalist out there, but besides left with no mood to write anything else, I'm also not in the mood to read. This is crazy, because since I learn how to read, this is the most interesting hobby for me. Ahh... I think this is the perfect moment for me to tell you a little bit of story about my life. Just a little. So you won't get bored :P

Hey! I can really write this blog! ;))

See you in the next episode.... :D